"Ennui on a Moonlit Night"

This is the old, the abandoned hour:
Bright words have fled I know not where;
The world is done with me: but what does it matter?
The dead do not care.
- Angela Manalang-Gloria

I looked out of the window and saw countless lights flickering in the dark like shards of coloured glass scattered on black silk. On other nights, such a sight would have been enough to bring a smile on my lips and a sigh of relief that despite the horrible dust and pollution of Metro Manila, the view of city lights at night from the 17th floor remains breathtaking. Tonight, it did not really matter to me.

I am too tired and jaded to care about anything anymore. Whoever said that the world is our oyster is lying. “Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect.” We take whatever shit it gives and make the most out of it. I am too tired now to even try to make the most of whatever life I have now. I am a zombie. I eat, breathe, walk, talk but do not care … cannot care.