I love this beach

Bagasbas Beach
Daet, Camarines Norte

I have fond memories of this beach (well, mostly). I used to come here a lot as a child. It was always a treat to come here during the weekends just to sit in the sand, and play with the waves. I remember coming here in the evenings, too. As a treat, after having done our homework, my cousin would drive to the beach, and we were allowed to run around in the sand for a bit before heading back home to sleep.

But... I almost drowned here when I was 12. That thing about having flashbacks/images in your mind when you're about to die - that happened to me. When I went underwater, I saw images of the people I care about and thought about how they would feel when they find out I drowned. In my mind, I saw my mother crying and I thought, "I cannot die. I don't want her to cry." Then, someone saved me.

This beach and I, we have a history. So, it was just fitting that I pay homage to her. We dropped by on our way back to Manila and marveled at how much it has changed since we last saw it about six years ago. We would have loved to stay longer, play with the waves and soak in the sun but we didn't have the time. There will be other times though. Bagasbas remains waiting...

Escape Artist

It is one of those days when I just want to disappear and escape to my favorite mountain resort or beach, and pretend that I have all the time in the world to lie around, read, swim, listen to music, stare into empty space... [sigh]

I haven't done that in a while - staring into empty space. It's a luxury really but a necessity. I think once in a while we need to empty our minds of thoughts and just focus on "being"... on reconnecting with ourselves... on being aware of breathing... of being alive... I need to meditate.

I've just come to realize how much of an escapist I am. Every time I am facing great difficulties or highly stressful situations, my first instinct always is to run away and hide. Well, I think these are very important survival instincts. And, yes... sometimes it's tiring to fight all the time. Sometimes, we just need to retreat for a while and lick our wounds, or plot our next moves... or in my case, just be a complete sloth and try to forget that anything else exists beyond my little protective circle.

Get me out of the city!

I'm so tired and I'm longing to go away once again to where I can be far, far away from work and the noise of the city. {sigh}

[Pictures taken at the Eden Nature Park in Davao City, Philippines.]

I miss this

Sunrise from my cottage
Originally uploaded by Dark of the Moon.

I miss waking up in the morning and seeing a view of the sea all aglow. Seeing this picture again reminded me of the warmth of the sun on my skin on that particular day in April when I took this picture. Now, I wake up to a view of buildings, vehicles and smog. Sigh. Can't wait to go to the beach again...

Wish

I dream of an eternity of languid summer days, lounging by the beach, listening to the exotic strains of a Cuban son, sipping frozen margarita. I want no more of endless days of sitting in front of a computer rushing documents after documents… I’m tired. I want to get away from this polluted city.

Desperately in Need of a Vacation

A long All Saint's Day weekend in the Philippines began today but while everyone else has gone out of Metro Manila, I'm stuck in here, grumblingly planning a long weekend of catching up with overdue reports and overdue house cleaning.

My house is in total chaos - papers strewn on top of the bed, on top of my small table, and on top of boxes and boxes of more papers; dust bunnies on the floor, dust all over my new bookshelves, dust on the books I'm currently reading (yes, i normally read 2-3 books at a time); the luggage from my Bangkok trip a week ago still lying on the floor (and yes, now covered in dust); the scarves and whatnots I bought in Bangkok in a plastic bag on top of layers of backpacks, computer bags, shoulder bags and mommy bags all on top of my boxes of old clothes (the ones I'm still hoping to wear when I lose weight and hopefully they would still be fashionable then) ...

Dang! While everyone else is on vacation, I am buried neck-deep in paperwork and clutter, and marinating in city dust. [Sigh]